I feel anxious and overwhelmed. I feel a bit angry and powerless. I feel that my struggles with MyWife are futile and hopeless. I feel like things are never going to get better. I feel ashamed. I’m going to send my family disclosure to my cousins and I’m scared to do that. I don’t know […]

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Anxiety Builds

It’s kind of crazy how quickly my anxiety and tension can build back up. It’s also kind of crazy how quickly the desire to act out rises to match those feelings. I’m an avoider. I avoid conflict, I avoid difficult situations, I avoid pain and anguish.  Does that make me a coward? In the past I […]

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Tomorrow’s Goals

My plan for tomorrow: 5:00 AM – 5:30 AM – Wake Up, Get Up 5:30 AM – 6:00 AM Read ODB, Answers in the heart – write down what they made me think about and how I felt. Pray Read other sheets I picked up at SAA if time allows 6:00 AM – 7:00 AM […]

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Why am I having a beer today?

Because I can. Because I wanted to. Because I’m back at NeighborhoodBar perhaps?   It’s a Karbach Hopadillo an IPA brewed at Karbach brewery in Houston. I came over here to eat some dinner because it’s across the street from my apartment and I wanted to eat something before I went to my SAA meeting this […]

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I’m so scared…

I’m so scared of losing MyWife. I know she doesn’t really believe that, but it’s true. I’m terrified of it. As she was talking this evening about her therapy sessions, both yesterday and today, she mentioned grieving. She needs to grieve. I fear it’s grieving me and our relationship and moving away from me. (Here […]

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So this is my apartment too. My name is on the lease. I paid for the fucking place. I don’t care whether it’s morally right or not, I have a fucking legal right to be here. Some women would have kicked their husbands out on the street, says HerTherapist, some men would have cut their […]

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