I guess what I can say about it is that it wasn’t as bad as I thought. It was painful and shameful. Terrifying and nerve wracking but my wife didn’t get up and run out of there screaming. She did’t look at me with disgust. She didn’t even get angry. I am scared that she […]Read more "I Did My Disclosure Today…"
So maybe not actually the first draft, but a draft. They say you can’t heal without doing a disclosure, nor will your marriage ever heal. I hope they are right, but I don’t see how my marriage will ever heal after she hears all this. There’s just so much, it’s such an insane amount and […]Read more "First Draft of My Disclosure"
It’s been a while since I journaled and posted. I’ve been pretty depressed and discouraged of late. All my goals have fallen by the wayside and I’ve had a hard time getting anything done or focusing on any single task. I don’t know whether it’s been the addiction or dealing with the consequences of my […]Read more "So I took some time off from Journaling"
Well today was a long, shitty day. I once again didn’t get up as early as I wanted to. I succumbed to the temptation of pornography and masturbation once again this morning. I packed up my stuff from my apartment, I’m moving it back to City1 to City2. All but two items, a propane grill and […]Read more "Wednesday… I feel so lost and hopeless"
I’m so scared of losing MyWife. I know she doesn’t really believe that, but it’s true. I’m terrified of it. As she was talking this evening about her therapy sessions, both yesterday and today, she mentioned grieving. She needs to grieve. I fear it’s grieving me and our relationship and moving away from me. (Here […]Read more "I’m so scared…"