So I’m back in
CityX for two days. I came down for a job interview today and I also had to arrange some community service hours with the court and I have to meet with my probation officer tomorrow. (In case you haven’t been following, I was arrested for soliciting prostitution, which is how I got here)
While I was down here I also took care of emptying a storage unit I had.
Lots of different things going through my head today.
First and foremost: I sold my propane grill. I hated to do it, especially at half the price of what I paid for it about a year ago. It’s a really good grill, but I have no where to put or use it, and it doesn’t take long for the cost of storing it to outweigh the loss I take on selling it at a discount. One of those continually painful lessons I guess. The interesting thing about this was that I was left with $1,000 cold hard cash in my pocket. Running around the neighborhood I ended up driving by a massage parlor I used to frequent. That got my addict thinking. I got some cravings and did half seriously think about going into one of my favorite places. I thought I’d be fine driving by, and truth be told I was, but it’s interesting to note that the cravings are still very much there. Even after over 100 days sober from anything other than porn and masturbation.
This brings me back to the whole point of why I was in
CityX in the first place… a job interview. The interview went really well, they even mentioned that they will likely be making me an offer. I liked the guys, the company seems ok. It’s really what I’ve been looking for in many ways, but the truth is, I don’t want the job. I don’t want to move back down here to CityX. It’s not that I have anything against the city. In fact I really like it, in many ways I think there’s more going on here than there is in CityY, but I don’t want to go back to living apart from my wife, well any more apart than I already am.
I like seeing her almost every day, well at least most of the time I do anyway. There’s also the fact that it’s so much easier to give in to temptation when she’s that much farther away. That was definitely evidenced by the temptation that a massage parlor offered to me today.
Anyway… just some thoughts, like I said, there are many, many more but I just got really tired and now it’s time for bed.